The Usual Suspect
by shyangell
Summary: Sirius is usually the origin of all of Hogwarts trouble. So when another broom cupboard… blows off, who will they look for? Set a bit before ‘Friends and Foes’.


**One-shot by MorningDawn and shyangell**

**Summary**: Sirius is usually the origin of all of Hogwarts trouble. So when another broom cupboard… blows off, who will they look for? Set a bit before 'Friends and Foes'.

**Characters**: James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Peter, McGonagall

**Pairing**: James/Lily on the side

**DISCLAIMER**: All the fictional characters appearing in this fanfiction story are not mine, they're J. ; and they are being used with the only purpose of personal entertainment.

WARNING: this one-shot has been recently betaed and reformatted. Have fun!

**The Usual Suspect**

It was a beautiful February Sunday afternoon; the red rays of the waning sun flaring in the west in one of the few days that winter were the sun had actually been visible. Four lazy seventh years were occupying the east corner of the common room, right under the cavalier tapestry and all over a nice set of three armchairs and one couch.

Peter sat on one of the armchairs, with a huge book sprawled over his legs and staring aimlessly, studying, or at least pretending to. In front of him sat Remus, who had his head stuck in his DADA homework. On the couch sat James, who was pretending to read a book while being completely focused on the red-headed girl sitting next to him; Lily sat inches apart from him, her head resting on his shoulder and her eyes going over and over a huge pile of transfiguration notes.

But the peaceful moment didn't last for too long. The Gryffindor common room was like a very small pool of stagnant water. Mostly calm with sudden bursts of activity. And by calm I don't mean silent, but the easy-going camaraderie that allows a peaceful coexistence. But as the pool, its calmness could be easily perturbed by the sudden drop of a pebble; the ripples created reaching easily every corner of the room. And that pebble was Sirius Black.

The portrait of the Fat Lady swung open with far more force than necessary when the aforementioned boy entered the room. The tall dark-haired young man looked downright furious; one of the many disguises he used to show what was actually, frustration.

He headed in their direction without need of as much as look around for their location; striding angrily towards the little group. His long forceful stride brought him swiftly in front of them, coming to a sudden halt in front of Lily. It probably contributed to said swiftness that the sight of a furious Sirius Black sent most younger students running for the hills, and everyone thought it a good idea to clear his path.

"Don't you have first years to berate? Girl friends whom with to giggle? Gossip to spread?" he spat to her. Lily glared at him, prepared to start yet another episode of their legendary on-going battle of wills. But Remus, who had vast experience with both of them, was faster.

"Where are your manners Padfoot?" he said mock-scolding his best friend and clucked his tongue; all without raising his gaze form his books. "Last time I checked being polite didn't kill anyone." Sirius didn't bother to acknowledge him or what he said and kept glaring with a most displeased look on his face.

"No, but I could sprain something. Being nice is overrated. It's not as if being nice will get me what I want more swiftly than being rude will. I'm not in the mood for social pleasantries. So, Lily dear, get lost." he said with a note false sweetness in his voice. "I would like to talk with the guys, alone." James sighed and smiled with resignation at her.

"Please Lily, you know he is just being a stubborn jerk." said kissing softly her temple. "Would you mind going a while with Mary?" she looked from his hazel eyes too the grey ones of Black, unamused.

"And what if I am curious and want to know what you have to tell them?" said the red-headed girl calmly. Sirius sneered.

"You know what they say; curiosity killed the cat."

"And if curiosity doesn't kill the cat," added Remus, knowing that in his friend's current mood was better to indulge him, "then Sirius sure will."

He really hoped Lily would get the hint. Peter sniggered and James let out a small smile. But Sirius and Lily remained glaring at each other. Finally Lily sighed and gave in, rose from the couch and started to walk away, muttering airily to herself. The last thing she heard before sitting with the Mary was her boyfriend complaining to Sirius about throwing her out.

"Hey Padfoot! Couldn't you do a small effort to get along with my girlfriend?"

"Exactly! _YOUR_ girlfriend, _YOUR_ business, _YOUR_ problem, nothing to do with me."

She sighed and did an effort to get them out of her head; with Black, her relaxation technique classes became often necessary… he was such a pain.

"What's this so important that you _have_ to tell us?" asked the boy.

"It's McGonagall." said Sirius in exasperation, pursing his lips to a thin line. "She is putting the blame for that fiasco of an explosion on the seventh floor on me."

"The one that happened today around noon?" asked James. "Suspects you already? Oh my, does she work fast…" he gasped.

"Yes, that crappy sorry excuse for a prank. And no matter how many times I get to tell her that it wasn't me. I mean, it is far too much of an obvious prank. I am in probation, for Merlin's beard! I am not that much of a risk-taker. Not when I'm five months short of finishing my NEWTS." he ranted, venting on the willing ears of his friends; who were trying very hard to seem sympathetic, a difficult thing to do because no-one knew better than them that Sirius had brought this upon himself.

"Come, on, you have to agree with me that it was poorly executed, and worse planned. I mean, there were far too many flaws in that mess to have anything to do with me. MacGonagall is just being pissy because she doesn't have anyone to blame. She even said straight away that as I am the most likely suspect she's getting me a very nice and long detention. The most _usual_ suspect. Blergh."

Peter was by now doubling in silent laughter, all red on the face and trying hard not to make a sound. James looked to all effects and purposes as if he had sprained something in his efforts not to smile and give into laughter. Remus, far more adept at the art of remaining impassive, looked just mildly impatient, his whole demeanour clearly saying _so?_

"Anyone would say that you're more offended because she is blaming you for a pathetic prank, than for the fact that she's threatening to land your scrawny ass in detention." said James, in between chuckles.

"No! It's more like the fact that cleaning that particular disgusting bathroom all over again isn't in my wish-to-do list, you know. Especially if it is because of some first year's stupid prank!" said Sirius, burning with self-righteous indignation.

"But she can't give you detention without actual evidence it was you. If you didn't do it…" said Peter innocently.

"Well, she has done it before." remarked Remus, rather unhelpfully.

"Exactly!" said the grey-eyed boy. "And now, she says that either I give her solid proof that I had nothing to do with it or I go straight into a three-hour detention in Mourning Myrtle's bathroom." James shook his head, amused at his friend's predicament, not feeling very compassionate today.

"Well, I do think you said you had to check something for, what was it _Runes?_... anyway, and you were going to spend the morning in the library." supplied Remus.

"Not solid enough. You could be lying." Sirius cut in, frustrated.

"True, we can only state that he _said_ he was in the library, not that he actually _was_ there, because…"

"Wait!" Sirius cut James brusquely. "Evans!"

"What has any of this to do with my girlfriend?" asked James irked.

"Where's Evans?" Remus sniggered.

"Well, you just sent her packing." But Sirius was again, not paying attention to him. He scanned the thinning crowd in the common room, and spotted her auburn head some tables away with MacDonald.

"Evans!" he yelled as he walked towards her.

She of course, tried fruitlessly to ignore him.

"What?2 she said snappishly.

"Dear Lily," said once he stood in front of her, leaning carelessly across the table and looking over her. "Where was I this morning?" she frowned at his question; she knew he was stupid, but not _stupid enough _not to know where he had been. She shuddered to think what on earth had he imbibed to suffer for partial memory loss.

"Um, let me think…" she said in her usual condescending tone, at least when talking to him. "In the library? Bothering me… no annoying the hell out of me and making me loose precious study time?" she said bitterly.

"That's it!" he said, in a tone she didn't know if it was mocking or… mocking. And then, he did something rather out of character for Sirius Black. He grabbed her arm rather forcefully, and tugged her up from the couch starting to drag her across the room and towards the fat lady, despite her protests.

He dragged her, half running and half flying behind him trying to keep up with his long gait without tripping, through the maze of corridors, four sets of stairs and three hidden doors to McGonagall's office in the third floor. By the time they arrived there, Lily was still silently wondering, she had already given up on yelling, what the hell had gotten into him. He stopped dead on his tracks in front of the wooden oak door.

"Would you care explaining me why the hell have you dragged me all the way down to McGonagall's on a Sunday?" he blatantly ignored her question and opened the door, without knocking of course, making a very convincing act of someone who is pretty much offended.

McGonagall was looking at him from behind her desk and pursing her lips. In two strides he placed Lily in front of McGonagall's desk. Both eyed him carefully, McGonagall surprised at his sudden entrance, and Lily puzzled over all of this, craning her neck to look back at him, still behind her.

"I do have proof professor." Sirius announced, gesturing vaguely towards Lily. McGonagall gave him close scrutiny but only said:

"Care to elaborate Mr Black?" he almost rolled his eyes.

"Where was I this morning, Lily?" he questioned in a mechanical voice, talking to his fellow student.

"In the library, utterly devoted to the noble art of bothering me." said the girl, acerbically.

A look of disappointment passed through McGonagall's eyes, briefly; probably because she'd run out of suspects already. Well, her list was rather short. In fact, had only one name. It was the same name of the other dozen of times… the usual one.

"Well Mr Black, I suppose that rules you out of detention." Sirius smirked, satisfied. And Lily opened her eyes in realization. That was what all this was about; detention!

"Professor." started Lily, smiling sweetly. "if you want you can give him a detention for making me loose my time, I certainly wouldn't mind." she said innocently.

McGonagall smiled and Sirius played deaf. In fact he had ignoring people and what they said about him down to an art.

"I don't know how you did it, Mr Black; but I still do think it was you. Have it in mind… I will keep an eye on you." she threatened.

"Had I pulled that prank, it wouldn't have gone awry. Everyone that has passed their OWL in Charms, knows that you don't mix a banishing charm with an _incendio_, at least, not without putting a temporisation spell on it first, so that it does not blow up in your face… much less do a _colloportus_ so being locked the explosion has no natural way out because it will blow the door off it's hinges. If you want to be conscientious about it, you need to put a whole lot of protective spells to channel the blast, so you only hit what you want to hit." when he said it like that it looked like a like a very meditated theory. "It would be far better though to just use a suppressor charm and a switching spell, in alternate sequence while putting a refilling charm on the boils potion they were obviously hoping to get on everyone who was close enough… It was a lousy job."

Both women looked at him in grudging and annoyed admiration; he certainly knew what he was talking about. Although it wasn't a self-respecting subject per se.

"It's a shame you can't be punished for plotting and scheming, Mr Black." commented McGonagall bitterly. Sirius shrugged.

"I'm not plotting. I'm just putting to good use the things we are taught in class. Aren't we supposed to broaden our horizons and think outside the box? Imagining creative ways of blowing things off is one of the only reasons one is not pulling his hairs out in boredom in Charms…" he trailed off innocently. McGonagall rolled her eyes. "You should be looking for a very stinky first-year who is trying to emulate us, without much success."

"Stinky?" asked Lily, rather surprised.

"Yes, because when coming in direct contact with fire a boils potion smells like rotten eggs and produces a rather disgusting mucus-like substance that is extremely difficult to rub out. Experience talking here."

"Mr Black, you are incorrigible…" said McGonagall sighing. "As much as I enjoy giving you detentions, you are free to go." Sirius smirked and Lily looked disappointed, she had been expecting that he'd get some kind of detention.

"Have a good evening professor." He turned around and walked triumphantly out the office door looking much happier than when he entered.

McGonagall shook her head and looked over to her favourite student, who stood there staring dumbly at the door.

"Ginger newt, Miss Evans?" she asked. Lily took one of the cookies on the proffered plate and munched on it silently, still disbelieving. "This boy can really get on my nerves." said McGonagall with a half-closed mouth, as if making an important confidence. Lily looked at her for the first time since Black disappeared. McGonagall only made a small resigned smile; as if she had just been let into a great secret.


End file.
